What form of love do you live?

gatha wrote to LoveArchive to explain what kind of love relationship she lives: she is not interested in superficiality. Monogamy puzzles her. Learn more about her thoughts…

I would say that the way I live love relationships can generally be described as paradoxical. on the one hand I am a very independent woman and freedom is vital for me. on the other hand I have the need to live a very deep, connected relationship, superficiality doesn’t interest me. I want a strong man on my side and at the same time I am very dominant…but if I then let myself dominate my relationship, I lose respect and interest. I know that it is exhausting to be with me, that i don’t shy away from conflicts and that I want to have a relationship with my partner.

I have had many relationships so far and I have always been the one who one day drew the line. I can’t live in a relationship that doesn’t feel right to me.

In my last relationship, I had an affair for a long time. that was an exciting, but was also a totally exhausting experience. I question the monogamous relationship model often, but I also have the feeling that we are (almost all) not mature enough for permanently functioning polygamy.

In the meantime, I also see a relationship as “looking into the mirror” and thus being able to recognise myself better and better. I don’t try to change my attitude anymore (if I’m conscious enough to realise it), but to look at myself to see what’s going on when I’m dissatisfied. In Dirk I have found a man with whom I want to stay for the first time and not leave. He needs more freedom than I do and he challenges me again and again. With him I can grow as a human being while he holds many mirrors up to me and with whom I can share the essential contents of life. Even if sometimes it is not easy for us to have it together, this relationship is incredibly good and enriching. Nevertheless I always think paradoxically that I could imagine myself being totally fine living alone.
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Names have been changed in this post as the contributor wanted to remain anonymous.